I Am Lost

Hear me out right quick
And more than once, I have thought about staying here
Plus, I don't think anyone's looking for me
I've yelled and they laughed at me
I've talked and all they did was stare at me People lack understanding
I didn't think I was that complicating

On your mark, get set
Everyone's ready to go
Yet I haven't even found my lane
They're running, and running, and running
As I stand in the bleachers watching
Looking for help
That's the one running the fastest

I've seen helicopters flying overhead
but no one would dare pick me up
My higher self and my lower self are fighting and I can't tell which one is for me and which one is against me
The arguing goes a little like,
"I'm good. No, I'm stupid. I got it. No, I dropped it. I'm almost there I'm too far behind. I'm adequate. I'm not enough."

I missed it
The call
The memo
The lesson
Whatever you want to call it
Class was full
And the teacher has retired
I missed it
I am frustrated beyond tantrums
I am disappointed beyond tears
I have a lot to say, but it's beyond words
My subconscious is on probation
And if I step outside of the boundaries of these thoughts I feel crazy
So I sit here

Listen when I say I am not asking for a hand to hold
I am not asking for a shoulder to dry my tears on
I need specific directions
Show me
I really hate to ask
I really hate to ask
I really hate to ask
I really HATE to ask
So I push you away
And slam the door in your face

And don't tell me you love me because I won't believe you anyway
And don't give me compliments
Because I think it's bullshit
And stop telling me you're here
Because I still feel alone
Just tell me
How do I get out?

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