I Can't Forgive

I'm still healing.
I've got bumps, bruises, scratches, and scars.
They say it takes time to heal.
They tell me that forgiveness is the key,
That it will help me with my pain and sorrow.
If I were to forgive then I would only be opening
doors that will eventually get slammed in my face.
Once again I'd be hurt in pain with the rage within me
beneath my heart lit, on fire, burning.
This would happen several times over and over again.
Soon enough, there will be no more of my heart left.
None to share with anyone nor with myself.
All that will be left is a cold, hardened body that is
nothing, but a monster.
There'd be no one that could stand to put up with me being like that.
Even the ones who love and care about me the most.
I'd be dead inside.
Not even one little thing of me would be alive.
I can't do that to myself.
I just can't find it in me to be able to forgive.
I just can't.

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