i hate you

By I Lyons   

The way you linger in my thoughts
The way the warmth of you stays with me for years
The way your hand still finds its way to that spot on my lower back
The way you smile at me
The way you look at me across a room
The way I hear from you just when I stopped thinking of you - for the millionth time
The way I can’t remember what i was like before I met you
The way I remember the moment I realized all I wanted was you
The way I forgive you
The way I am a hostage in the memory of you
The way I wanted to be with you - for real - but was too scared
The way I want to be with you - for real - but am too scared
The way you make my heart still skip
The way you broke it so many times
The way we are cowards because what would be ours would be perfect, and we’re scared of that kind of perfection.
I wish you were just a memory
I wish I never saw you again so I could be rid of you for good

I wish I really wanted that.

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