I have courage, but I am no brave

Dawn is breaking
I lay in bed
trying to recall the events from the night before
I wiggle my toes and stretch my arms
nothing feels broken, but something feels missing
the chaos in my head is spread out like a thick fog
sorting through the images of you and them
I don't want to get up
Don't want to see the bruises
I wonder if bruises are a sign of defeat
or a simple representation that you showed up to
the battle
I stand
my feet feel foreign on this ground
like a place I've never visited
I avoid the mirrors as I walk
I have courage but I am not brave
I turn on the shower
careful not to look at the burns on my neck
The steam of the shower engulfs me like I'm walking
through fire
things like this don't happen to simple girls like me
I survived
I wonder if surviving will be enough for me

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