I Notice

I noticed the monumental distance tearing me from you,
but you didn't.
I screamed across the canyons of silence,
only to be returned with chills of rejection
I am an echo in your heart, yet you are a permanent resident in mine.
You say you care from your mouth
but your eyes are paled and dead.
I get the feeling that if I vanished you would discard evidence of me
A piece of lint on your favorite blue sweater

I notice the way my words don't seem to matter
Unless they benefit you, of course.
When you are miserable and hurt, I would gladly bear your pain.
But, I cry in the hidden corners,
alone in the consuming darkness of my bleeding heart,
Not a soul to care
When you are unsteady I break myself in order to give you balance
I begin to fall expecting warm steady hands
Instead I am embraced by the cold hard ground.

I notice you only come to me when I am your last resort
When false friends and people have left you, abandoned
You say I am the best,
the one you couldn't live without
Yet when the big waves stop crashing and the sea is calm, I am alone
Alone to fight the raging sea within myself.

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