i reminisce on july 13th


a thrill starts and it all loosens
water laps at its center and starts to glisten
slick against my fingers i stare dumbfounded
enthralled by the feeling
yet shamed by its meaning

moments in the past plunge in
slippery and smooth it enters
fear gathering in one movement
thoughts circling and whizzing through
words stuttered and lips trembled
heart shaking and cheeks burning

scenery envelops and its the cold floor again
the rough bedding and the scratchy carpets
the stark door vs the fragile hope
the walk to the slaughterhouse
i call them his sheets
and i call my young mind weak
and i cross out forgiveness in red ink

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