I Said It

I like you.
There, I said it.
So go ahead and laugh at me since I'm the subject of jokes.
Reject me by saying it will never happen in this life.
Even when your actions speak louder than your words.

Maybe I was stupid enough to believe things would be different.
Since time passed and we grew older yet it feels like the first time.
Where things are one-sided and I'm playing the role of just a friend.
Even when there are days you treat me more than just your chum.
When will the lines cross and we finally read from the same page?

You leave me feeling twisted each time I'm around you.
I try to act cool, but you see through the cracks of my armor.
And I feel like you enjoy watching me suffer as you smile life away.
Pretending nothing is seriously wrong even when you stare into my eyes.
The same ones that spent restless nights crying over you in my fantasies.

I like you.
There, I said it again.
So go ahead and refuse me just like before.
Tell me we're not meant to be and break my heart.
I yearn for it even though I know it will destroy my mentality.
But I need to confess the truth from my soul since I can't keep it inside.
It hurts to even whisper your name under my breath as the seconds tick by.

I thought this time around would be different, but found myself completely wrong.
Since once again this hopeless romantic wasn't meant to fall in love like in fairytales.
I should just accept the fact that I'm meant to be alone even if I keep dreaming big.
Wanting that special person in my life to share many fun adventures with.

Maybe one day I'll finally learn to open my eyes and be positive.
But until that time comes, I'll completely wander in the dark.
Trying to find myself again after being true to my feelings for you.
'Cause I'm tired of struggling to be an identity in this world.

I like you.
There, I said it again for you to see.
Are you happy now that the truth is finally out?
Are you going to laugh at me again or pretend there isn't something there?
'Cause your actions speak much louder than your words.
And my words speak louder than the actions I make around you.
Though you probably will never feel the same towards me,
I can finally say I'm not sorry for being true to myself...

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This was written with the idea of "There, I said it" to someone who I'm currently crushing on. I ended up combining two crushes into one poem, my current crush and an ex-crush.