I Should Have

By Nikki   

I have never once thought of giving up
I wasn’t raised to be one who quits
Anything less than winning isn’t enough
So I keep pushing, using my brain and my wits
I should’ve paid more attention as a kid
I should’ve stayed in college and not out late
Should've done the right things and not what I did
If so, I wouldn’t be wondering, "When will I catch a break"
Looking back I can’t remember times as bad as these
The lights would get turned off, but never more than a week
I don’t remember times close to begging, "Pretty please?!?"
Just them, barely holding onto pride and not able to speak
I kept telling myself, "There’s still time to change"
Then months flew by and bills were still not paid
Lights and water would get cut off, I’d say, "That’s strange"
Then I would start stressing and looking for aid
All of that is what I saw for so many years
Which is why I swore to grow up and do things right
To know that my child wouldn’t have the same fears
But never once did I think I’d fail and live the same life
Still, I refuse to stop TRYING, I refuse this type of hell
I may not have gotten it right, not at all
But life will NOT be the hammer while I’m the nail
So I’ll keep going until there’s no chance that failure can call

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