I Thought I Had Loved Before


Because I thought I had loved before, I learned to fear it.
Because though I held in my hands a spark,
I still had to watch it burn out and leave in its wake
an ache, an open sore.
For years I convinced myself
that Love should stay to me a foreign concept,
embraced by others and abandoned by me,
just I had watched it abandon me.
But in this world of "me's" and "you's"
of course came along some "you" that made me pause
and reevaluate what I thought I was so sure about before.
You placed in my hands a small flame,
occupying the space left cold and barren from the spark I once held.
And in our silent connection, our unspoken contract,
you convinced me to try again.
To take that fearful Love-thing and embrace it,
to not fear losing it again.
"Me" and "you" became "us" and "us" became a promise:
no matter where I am, and no matter where you go
in the land of the hands of us
there is a shared flame, a connection I plan to keep.
And I am not afraid of losing love again,
but I am afraid that I may never properly express to you
how I know that I had not experienced Love before.
Because here I am- here we are
Living it.

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