I wan to..

I want to hate you

Make no mistake of it
But you’re like a parasite, that attacked itself at birth
I never lived a life without you but somehow it feels like you are never there
When I try to separate you bring me back in with a sweet, delicious venom
You have provided so much yet you deprive of what I need cause you yourself don’t know how to provide it
Or maybe you do but you are so distant
I will never know

You always act kind when I obey
Act like the perfect specimen
With small average problems
Because that's the life you thought you provided for me
The life to make me the perfect specimen
The life with only small minor problems

You would be very mistaken

You never provided me with comfort
Strength
A validation
Kind response to a real crisis

You only responded to the real crisis with hostility
Defense for you
Cause you were a coward
Instead of responding with a saving grace to the crisis
You rather told me the crisis was invalid
Could be worse
Minor
That I was in the wrong

Yet there were times before crisis where you were sweet but still distant
Maybe you really were there
Yet though make no mistake

I still want to hate you

soup