i wish


I wish i could explain your eyes.
And how your smile gives me butterflies or how your voice puts me into a daze.
Or how by just looking at your face i realise what exactly i want.
By talking to you i understand for the first time what it means to be completely in love.
But i wish i could also explain how much that all hurts me so much.
Knowing you're not mine anymore.
That i'm not the reason for your smiles or laughs.
That me saying i love you makes me look like an idiot.
So i hold it in.
I don't tell you i love you instead i try and help.
I don't call you beautiful or cute.
I know that you no longer want that from me.
I know that friendship is all you want.
So that is what i will give.
I will hype you up
And help you through your problems
And when you finally find someone else,
I'll swallow the pain and help you with that.
I'll always be there, never leaving
No matter how much you push me away.
I wish i could explain how much you mean to me.

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