If I Could


If I could,
I would demand that
God lift me above my home
Above my city and
The valleys and rivers that surround me,
Above the tallest mountain in the world
And
Above the stars
Just so that I can pull the sun all the way down
Into your world
Of rainstorms

For you
I’d gather all the love in the world
Into a bottle you can drink
Whenever you felt
Cold or lonely or afraid-
If I could.
If I could I’d grab the biggest eraser
I could find
And wipe out your past filled with pain
And engrave hope in its place

If I could I’d -
I don’t know what I would do
But I’d do anything
To make you whole again
To make you happy
I just want to you to be happy
I want you to see flowers instead of weeds
I want you to know what it’s like
To feel truly warm
I want your rough hands to be soothed
And I want your scars to disappear
I want them to disappear!
I want you to find purpose

i bet when you look in the mirror
You only see glass
I bet you don’t even see yourself
Because If you did
You’d ask for some help
I bet if you did
You’d see how MUCH there is to love about you

You make me so angry
I love you so much

I want to smack the pain out of you
If I could I would

If I could I would change everything for you
And I’d be the only mirror you look at
So that you can see love
For once in your life

But I can’t
So I shout at God
And cry into the night sky
And beg you to fix yourself
Because I tried but I can’t do it
I can’t do it I can’t do it I can’t do it
If only I could
But I can’t
So every time I see you
I hug you with all of the strength I have
And hope with all the hope I have
That when I make you lose your breath
That’s the way you make me feel
When you allow the world to break you
Do not let it break you
Please do not let it break you
You break me
You are the strongest concrete slab
Of a human I have ever seen
Remember, you are human
You are stronger than the clouds
You must be stronger than the clouds

Because I can’t
No matter how many times I ask God
He hasn’t pulled me above the stars
No matter how many mountains I’ve climbed
I have never reached the sun

But know, if I had
It would be to bring it back for you

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