I’ll Never Forget

My first real heartbreak was my mother's when dad left,
And I'll never forget the sound of her weeping
Or the image of her begging on the floor for him to stay. I'll
always feel the tremors of a house shaking from unceasing crying,
I'll never forget him saying, I'm leaving,
And justifying it so easily, almost
Indifferent to a home's grieving.
I'll always walk through the the front door expecting him to be there
And then remembering reality and why he's not here
And I'll look at the bed,
Wondering if that's the one he had the affair in.
I'll never not wonder how one can say I love you to a children and
A faithful wife and tell another she's the new love of his life.
And I'll never not have it in the back of my mind,
That when I meet the One, I won't be his only one
Or when he says he loves me,
It's only a matter of time until
I begin to see true colors, or until he decides
He doesn't like mine.
I'll never forget at sixteen promising to never be the woman begging,
Never to be the one broken.
Not realizing you'd already done that
So I picked up the pieces of that first heartbreak
Ineffectively gluing shreds back together,
And still looking for filling
To fill the holes for the pieces I'll never be able find.

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