I’m Not Sorry


I’m Not Sorry

I’m so tired of saying sorry
My life is littered with apologies
Everywhere I go
Everyone I talk to
I say sorry
I’m sorry for stepping on your toe
I’m sorry for changing my mind
I’m sorry I’m late
I’m sorry I prefer neon to pastel
I’m sorry that I talk too much
I’m sorry I’m too loud
I’m sorry I’m always losing something
I’m sorry I’m so messy
I’m sorry I’m clumsy
I’m sorry for being me
But I’m not.

I’m not sorry that when the words come tumbling out of my mouth
They are too loud
Too fast
Too excitable
I’m not sorry that the colors I wear are too bright and the clothes I put on are too crazy
I’m not sorry that my favorite part of the day is sunrise and that the moon makes me feel
A certain elation nothing else can evoke in me
I’m not sorry for being me and I will never again believe it
When someone says I am “too much”
Like the essence of my being is neon paint splattered against a brick wall-
Graffiti.
Maybe they want me to be
Calm.
Composed.
Clean.
They say that first impressions are everything
Like if I can just pretend to be someone else for a little bit, everything would work out
They say I should think before I speak
But I say that you should let the letters and the words plunge from your lips
Like water from the tap
I say that you should speak what you think
And live what you speak
And make sure that you always, always face life standing up
I say that no matter what, you should be fearless
No matter what, you should be yourself
No matter what, you should never ever apologize for who you are

S-O-R-R-Y
Every time those five letters pass through my lips
I feel the neon paint that flows through my veins fade a little.
If I don’t stop soon, I’ll end up bleached and wrinkled

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