I’m So Numb
The pain got so bad I went numb.
I blocked out everything.
I was hollow, a shell of who I was.
I couldn’t feel anything, good or bad.
But pain Is temporary, isn’t it?
But u still feel its ghost in lonely times.
And that pain is not something I want to feel again.
Don’t look down upon me for feeling this way.
It’s not because I feel unloved.
Yes, that’s a part of it.
But it’s not just that,
It’s so much more.
It’s the constant reminder of what I've lost.
The volume of his voice,
The look in his eyes.
The reminders of my mistakes.
The disregard of my life and my feelings.
When the rain falls, it turns into my tears,
The ones I cried over him.
The sky cut open by the leaves and branches,
Create the same way his eyes look.
Those beautiful blue and green eyes that,
Always help me captive and had me mesmerized
The leaves blowing in the soft wind turns
Into his hair in the winter night,
The night we met.
But he’s long gone.
He’s part of this too.
He’s another reason for my pain.
There are an infinite number of reasons for my pain.
So, don’t look down on me for being sad.
Don’t be mad because I love him and not you
Because I chose him over you.
No one should ever feel ashamed for feeling .
They should embrace their emotions,
Even if they get burned.
Because emotions are a fire that can never be fully extinguished.
They are always there hiding in the shadows,
Dancing in the crowd.
I'm finally bringing me to the light,
For the world to see and not judge me for.