I’m Suffering


I get angry and it hard for me to calm down
I cry alot and you dont understand
Instead of thinking about next week
I think about when I die
and its so hard for me to explain to you why
I have not always been like this and I wish that
I could change it
I thought that time would heal my pain
but all it did was cause me to change
and now I feel as though I lost me
the doctors say that its PTSD
all I know is this isn't me
I feel so much pain and I want it to change
its not that I don't want to live'
but I just don't want to live like this
I try to be a good mother
and its so hard cause I'm so afraid
not only of this world
but even myself
son please don't hate me
if I just give up
I'm trying my best to hold on
but I suffer so much

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