Imprinted Fear

A butterfly has come made it's home on my brain,
With white lesions that show in a still frame.
Bones grow and then brake,the pressure is deep.
Along with this pain that shoot to my feet.
Again.....A illness I have to defeat.
I try and I try to make since of it all.
Why do i fall as I walk up the hall?
Is this punishment from what i lived in the past?
My mind races but can't think very fast.
My hands weak can't barely hold my pen.
Is it because of my past sin?
I asked for forgiveness,thought it I had found.
In my left ear can't hear a sound.
The butterfly has imprinted this new fear in my head.
A fear of punishement from a past i fed.
My headaches are deep,like a ocean of blue.
Like lighting down from the sky into my head through the back
of my eyes.
My vision is dull ,like a clouded tv screen.
What is going on?
Why with me?
Living one day at a time.
Hope my personal butterfly will soon take flight.
My head pounds like a hammer upon a rusty nail.
I loose my memory like a boat set sail.
My skin turns pail,like paper with no ink to be found.
The one i love see's me struggle with words I can't find.
He is always there to see me through all of the pain,
with the butterfly who calls "home" my brain.
I feel a nail upon my coffin again.
LORD.......Please tell me.....
Is it of my past sin?

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