IN A BLINK OF AN EYE

It’s when I close my eyes, I get scared the most.
It’s the time when my mind goes to war with my fragile heart.
After all, I knew this was a losing battle.
So I stop defending myself because I have nothing more to write
And now it’s just me and my regrets about letting you walk away that night.
I try and I try, to understand this pain in my soul,
was what you did unintentional or always your end goal?

You told me “til death do us part,”
and in foolishness, I carved that in my mind and heart.
Yet if I were to go blind tomorrow
I’d still want you to be the last thing my eyes saw.
Now there’s a feeling in my heart, and at night it will move to my chest.
It’s because there’s a lifetime of “I love you” I have to make up for,
even though the closure won’t last.

You came back once when I finally moved on
You said you were sorry, but the scars were too deeply embedded,
So you hurt me some more because your apology wasn’t accepted.
Ask yourself how could I forgive, what my scars couldn’t forget.
If only you knew the painful cuts your words had left.
So maybe if I close my eyes, and wake up in the morning, it will all disappear.
It’s been one year and five months, and the pain of your betrayal is still here.