I can't deny. That I'm starting to unravel inside. That I'm not sure I possess the grit to turn the tides. I've forgotten how to sit and can no longer hide. I'm trying to learn how to live because I don't want to just survive. There is power in hope that things will get better. That all that I carry will be lesser. I can't allow my fears to feed. Have it consume my already damaged self esteem. No point in going down kicking and screaming. I'd rather go standing with calm breathing. The truth of the matter is many would see you fail. It makes them feel safer about their own betrayal. That's why there is value in those that draw your sail. Those that aren't in it for a favour. You don't have to be jaded to see. That everyone isn't who they pretend to be. We are all scared on a playground. Just larger with different behaviour. Now will this outlook allow me to change and adapt. Most likely not I prefer my wool with a hint of black.