Is it too late to tell you this?

My granddad died in May
My granddad who left my grandma for another women 40 years into their marriage
That granddad
He died, and I didn’t tell you

In January a man broke into our house and came into my room and began to undress while I slept
I woke up, he seemed confused and I told him to leave
I hid in my closet and spoke on the phone to the 911 operator
The police surrounded my house and helped me crawl out my window
My parents were asleep the whole time
I was the only one who saw him
I had that alone
And I didn’t tell you

Sometimes I go through an entire day at school without speaking to anyone
I think to myself about how if I killed myself, which I won’t, people would be sad but not surprised
I think about how I would do every single year of my life over
How at 20 I feel like I’ve already ruined any chance I had to make my life the way I want to
I don’t feel like that as much now
So is it too late to tell you?

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