It Burns

I want to rip
Something? Someone? Where did this come from?
I have a burning rage within me that I need to let out
Is it because I cannot deal?
Deal with anything that is happening?
I have to smile, all the time
I have to smile so they believe all is well
So they believe I am fine
So they believe
In something greater than myself, I
Can’t
Yet having said I can
To so many. Things. Thoughts.
I am alone. Afraid in this darkness
There is nothing I can talk to
An emptiness inside me I cannot fill
I will not allow myself to feel, I
Cannot allow myself to feel, I
Need to feel.
Feel something, feel someone, hold some thing
Touch a thing that my mind has not yet touched
I am ruined beneath the surface
The way I feel, I....and then it goes blank
Where all words and deeds fade to nothingness
I am the sufferance of my own conjuncture
My own delight in a thing