It Is Nothing Any More

Sitting on my bed rocking back and forth
Holding myself together so the pain doesn’t get worse
Keep your mind busy, do this and that
Until the thought of him creeps into my mind again
Oh snap!
I think of the good times, not so much the bad
I tell myself NO! Leave it in the past
But I want nothing more but
For it to be the present, for it to be the future
But who am I kidding
I’m not her, I’m me
I am just the mess up that used to be
The one that he called His baby girl
But now,
Now I am on my very own, all alone
Curled up in a ball trying to forget the pain
Trying to forget what used to be
Trying to forget the connection
The sparkle his eyes had when he looked at me
Why must I remember his soft gentle voice
Or how he would calm me down when I had a bad dream
How he would comfort me when I screamed
I must stop writing this
Before my heart breaks some more
I must stop writing this
Before my body hits the floor
Your heart is not mine
Your heart belongs to her
My heart is nothing
It is nothing any more

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