It Was Not On Purpose

As I sign my resignation
this long desired contemplation
you tried to follow and fell behind
the darkest reaches of my mind
when I reached out you weren't there
I left you alone frightened scared
before I noticed you were gone
you found your way and then moved on
I promise that I searched for you
I stumbled blind thought I found you too
that mistake wasn't made on purpose
I know in my heart you don't deserve this
so I sat down alone in the dark
to ashamed to reembark
I talked to you even though you weren't there
I'd pretend my fingers ran through your dark hair
all that time I sat in self pity
you looked for me in that cold dark city
alone I sit in that cold dark place
remembering images of your sweet face
I'm going to try once more standing up again
maybe this time I'll find the end
the end of my torture the end of my trouble
I can't stand another day in this pile of rubble
Ill start walking soon and I'll find my way
I'm just so afraid I'll get week and stay
soon I'll start walking someday you'll see
or maybe I'll stay with no one just me

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