Kayaking


Get out of my head.
Get out!
Now!
That's how I felt when I woke up,
and as always, it was your fault.

You snuck into my dreams again.
This time, I told you everything,
you laughed and cried with me
as I talked and talked about
growing up the way no child should have to.
No child wants to.
No child understands until they've grown,
and no one understands them then,
unless dysfunction is something they too have known.
You have not told me about your childhood,
each time I ask, you cannot remember.
Yet, you understood.

Stop.
This cannot keep going on.

The only time I have not dreamt of you
since the very day we met,
was the week between your two girlfriends.
The only actual chance I had.
Gone.
I have dreamt of you only during your relationships
with other girls.
Not me.
I must be sick.

I don't want to date you,
at least, I don't think I do.
I want you to be happy
and if that's with someone else, so be it.
I don't want to date you.

Maybe I could just...
No!
Stop. Stop. Stop.
No, not you, me.
I'll stop if you stay in my head
Let me see you in my sleep. Please.
At least I can date you in my dreams.

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