Learning to Drown

I scroll through your page for what feels like the 100th time today
Nothing new I’m just looking for a reason to message
I go through pictures of a boy I feel is my own
The boy who doesn’t look at me like he used to
No gleam in his eye just anger at my absence
I keep going through holiday pictures
Past fleeting memories of happy times we shared
I feel like I’m in a Sea of what could have been
I start to panic and struggle to keep my head above water
I see you laughing refusing to throw me a lifebuoy
Water starts to fill my lungs like despair
I know all I need to do is kick but my legs refuse
I sink deeper and deeper and then all I see is black
My mind goes calm as I realize this is what I deserve

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This Poems Story

I have been going through a low mood and have been told to write down my feelings as I have a hard time opening up. Not expecting much from it other than a little therapy.