Leaving Midnight Scars

Outside I was smiling,
it was as false as my laughter,
inside my soul was dark
like the midnight sky.
I was soon as dark
as the midnight woods,
the wolf tore me apart
he never cared,
loved,
or knew how much I hurt
with such darkness.
I'm like the dark wintry midnight woods,
my heart grows cold
as snow,
it hurts with the pain and suffering of my past
I cry myself to sleep
hoping the wolves don't devour me in the night,
I wonder
Will the deep dark chains ever be unlocked?
I wait
and I get devoured in the process,
will I ever be happy
or will I stay locked up in these dark woods?
So long I've suffered
wondering if it's worth it.
My arms drip with blood,
as it pools on the floor,
I wonder if life is worth it,
worth the pain.
The pain pulls my mind
from my internal pain
and pushes the pain to my arms.
My heart half devoured
darkens with every breath I take,
it sickens me to the point of death.
The rope looks more inviting,
death looks more comforting than life.
I collapse with the pain that he caused me, everything that has befallen me has been his fault.
I stare down at the burn on my arm,
he branded me with a J claiming me as his,
I'll never escape him,
his trap that he has wrapped around me.
"He knows" whispers in my ear every night,
remembering what he did to me
before I sent him to prison
his threat pulls me further into my darkness.
The knife that he pointed at my throat
flashes through my mind,
the gun to my head comes next.
His large hands wrapped around my throat,
trying to squeeze my life out of me,
I will always be in debt to my brother,
who walked in just then saving my life.
What will he do to me now?
He took away my life,
my innocence,
my safety,
and my security.