Left on read

Every time you message me.
My heart begins to throw a party.
It throws streamers everywhere .
But my mind gets angry and tears them down. Yelling at me telling me that this isn't going to last Don't reply you'll get left on read. Don't believe it.
My heart doesn't listen to my brain. Then messages back anyways . I wait for your message to return but it doesn't. My heart begins to set fire to everything it built. My brain says I told you so. My heart gets black and begins to crumble. I start to forget and go about my daily life away from this so called neglect.Thinking maybe it wasnt meant to be.But then there you are I'm back to where I started. But no my brain says maybe this will work out he's back. But my heart it's so wounded. Saying please don't do it I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much. I'm turning dark I'm loosing love. I message back and I wait.... And I wait.... And nothing. my heart starts to get hard. Saying why do you keep doing this to me? Im so tired of giving love but not receiving it. Just stop. My brain cannot decide to continue on or just stop. I message him again ending in the same result. Now my heart and brain are crying out. Why why don't you let him go?
Because of all the What ifs?
But that's what's killing us all the what ifs.

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    This Poems Story

    How I feel when I get left on read. My anxiety takes over.