Let there be a soul
All I can't feel, lives and grows around me.
"There's no chance", I thought, I could make it,
Yet miracles do happen.
I had to breathe, so I took a long walk, instead of being swallowed and trapped by past, my eternal enemy.
I had to listen, so I let myself out of cage,
Went right there where I had something to actually hear.
No more bleeding ears, only harmonies.
A lot of tears and fears,
I was in pain for no reason,
Still, there was this tiny voice inside my hair saying:"Just wait, there is something to live for."
As I didn't see much far, I thought I was mislead, how wrong was I, can it be explained, there is a star that shines for my soul.
People tend to drink blood out of our hearts and sorrow they implement in our soul, they feel the need to drag us down, so they can rise like winners, yet they do not reach the sky, I used to wonder why. Some lead downwards and many follow, because they don't see, they don't feel, they don't know. Some lead to the Moon and praise its limit and a few follow, they need to reach the end, they need to let go of pain and a few follow. Some lead everywhere saying limits are of, journey's free, let there be a soul, let there someone to live and few follow. Paradoxical and confusing indeed,
We always strive to explain what we don't need.
I would mark myself as a mistake, still I wanted to truly live so badly, as I was ment to.
Peace used to be something I could not afford, tears weren't drying, just kept on coming.
Almost late, but on time enough,
I found out that I was "the one" I should fear, scars are proof how strong I am, not how I used to live as a collateral damage.
Belief I needed to pull back in my life,
Had to let go of others pushing me to feast in their reality and be proclaimed dead as soon as I get near their table.
Had to knock down walls of suffocating fakeness and enjoy the freedom with no gates.
My life was no vim, but woobegone and a slight emotions' akrasia,
All I used to feel was onism and drapetomania.
With the first breath of change,
I lived pollyanna and felt blessed,
Encouraged to celebrate occhiolism and live my own orphic reality as I need to get away from those who wandering around tossing rocks on others' roses, get nowhere but take a lot on their way down, falling.
The key is to accept however we choose to build our legacy, we are damned if we do, damned if we don't, because there are traps on our way, but not to slip over them and fall and stay down and hope to never wake up, but to fall and jump the next one over.
Realising that I felt peart for the first time,
Damage was never made, only my eyesight was broken.
Wounds never existed, I was the one who empowered the pain.
Words were never useless, I was just baffled by logolepsy, blindsided by all the wrong as I didn't separate myself from them.
They build their own marks,
I follow no footsteps anymore,
I make my own now.
Everyone's free to lead them,
But if he who dares to join,
Wants to gain the end,
He'd better leave and take a step or two back so he could differ seeing and seeing through.
I need a journey and chapters more to come,
I don't want a book,
I want internal legacy,
Circled by the freedom of existing.
More to come, more to pass,
To me more to live,
As I don't believe in dying.
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I believe that the perspective of reader should be unique. Beethoven said:"The listener has no choice", because music puts us directly into the mental state of the composer. We can also say that the reader has no choice as well. As a writer I feel an obligation to express colorful feelings about myself, my life, my world. Dealing with a dark storm inside my head was a huge challenge, but surely after some time I changed the way I look at myself and people around me. True beauty is in our souls and the best way to expand our soul is the artistic one.