Letters to Home

Dear Darling,
I need you.
I need you to crawl into my bed even when I scream
at you to go away.
I need you to hug me when blood flows from my slit
I feel like I can't stop crying. Like a rushing
waterfall of cold sorrow.
It is an endless creek of ice water.
It makes your feet numb but you get in anyway, just
to feel the current pulling at you. I let the undertow
drag you from the nightmare of reality.
I need you.
I need you to wake me up.
I need you to tell me it is going to be okay.
I need to be with you so I can remember that I do
love and I can be happy, even if only for a moment.
The doctor says I cannot come home for Christmas.
Your Love,

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