Lonely Complacency


Lonely Complacency

In my head we’re still together.

I’m practicing my lies with every man I meet,

so when you come back I’d know exactly what

to say.

I’m exploring my deepest fears so when you

come back I’d know exactly how to help you.

I’ve fallen in love, so when you come back I’d

know exactly how to love you.

I keep expecting you through that door, to just

walk back into my life life nothing has ever

changed.

Just like before.

We’d just continue our day and pretend to love

one another just to avoid confrontation.

I’d fall in love with you, when you’d fall out of

love with me.

Then you’d fall in love with me as I fell out of

love with you.

We could never love one another at the same

time.

Time caught up with us, and then everything

was there but nothing.

Nothing to fight for, nothing to ignite us.

But strangely I’m still here, waiting for you to

come back and fill this void.

This void made up of long days.

While you’re in love with someone else.

You’re never coming back, I know.

Why?

Because, as I wait for you.

I’ve already left the grasp of my own fists.

So afraid I’d lose myself if I let go.

I realized I’ve never known a more peaceful

place.

Give me a minute to bask in it.

I just like wallowing in the wait.

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This Poems Story

Letting go, finding comfort within ourselves after loving something so much, is it really as painful as it should be? Or is the process of re identifying ourselves to ourselves what really makes makes the blow? We really just run back to ourselves at square one when we love without loving ourselves fist. Thats the most excruciating phase.