I’m so childish, they took it as maturity.
I’m so mature, they take it as childish.
I’m so silly, they take it as serious.
I’m so serious, they take it as silly.
I don’t know who I am,
I don’t know what I want.
Do I please people,
Or do I hurt them?
Am I kind,
Or am I mean?
I forget hours from days.
I’m so detached,
And so disoriented,
That I don’t know how to take control.
I lose my body, and lose my mind.
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know how to be better.
I feel like two people.
One in control, and one watching.
I feel like two people who fight with each other,
Hate each other, disagree with each other,
Want to marry each other, love each other.
I hate how things change so rapid but so slow.
I feel so lonely, so loose.
Like I am watching my body move and feel and speak,
Without feeling anything at all.
I’m so out of it,
they make it a joke.
I poke fun at my thoughts,
when really I am screaming inside.
I need to get out, but I can’t escape.
Nothing will silence the buzzing in my head.
No one can help with the pain I am feeling.
I need help, but I don’t ask.
I want change, but I don’t move to try.
I want life, but I don’t care.
I want love, but all I do is hurt.
I want to be nice, but all I use is sarcasm.
I don’t want to be mean, but I do it anyway.
I can’t tell people how I’m feeling,
without hurting them or making any sense of it myself.
I don’t understand who or what I am,
and I don’t know what to do to change.
I am alone, I am lost.
I am unsteady, I am confused.
I don’t know who or what I am.
And no one can help me understand,
When I don’t know myself.

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This Poems Story

It is about a girl who has lost herself, and has no idea how to get back to the way she used to be.