Lost and Alone #2

By Carla   

Frank, I don't think I can find
My way out of this mess.
Took two Valium and still want to confess
Why I've come to look for a dime.

The money's all gone
And I think back to Vancouver
I had to have that outfit and that was so wrong
I could have replaced every louver
In that old house

Remember the trailer?
We gave your sister all of your check
And you scrubbed it like you were still a sailor
It gleamed and we declared it our very own wreck.

It took us weeks to clean that brush
From our first house
Counting leaves as we drink coffee to get a rush
Has video really replaced the radio?
Can you really hear the ocean in that old shell?
Like a poem that's incomplete, I am now uncoupled
Where did I hide that dusty shell?
If I could, I would bring back so many words and write them.
How do I keep everything you taught me?
I was your young tree growing beneath your arms.
How I long to be there again.

We were framed by highways across the land
Never quite sure which way to go
Until I got that job that nearly killed me.
Make me a home
Find me a child
And then I will be complete
But I forgot what would make
You complete.
Now I search the rooms
For some essence of you.

Your only son is in California
Like us, he loves to travel...
I won't let him live in my shadows.
They are for me as I strum your banjo
On a waning afternoon.

---- Dec. 2017

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I can't.