Loving me at a convenience
Contaminated with horrific pain, yet you knew it best,
Pushed yourself into my life, knowing I was in duress.
Of your choosing, holding me in your arms, leading me
to be comfortable, far away from harm. Speaking that
you comprehend me, acting on my flawed forms,
convincing me in my own head, setting silence to
my storms. Breaking each barrier, overcoming the
walls I built, despising the wall I let down when
you left without guilt. Each day, persistently talking
up my head. Only to land in one place at night, that
place being my bed. No appetite, no exhaustion, I
just watch you function well. Watching it all happen
before me, once again, living in someone else's hell.
Too many promises, all of your words; the physical
apologies. Saying all that I needed, merely based on
psychology. Saying I'm yours and making me need you,
making yourself a lie and then breaking me in two.
Abandoned, shattered, feeling the resentment of such
pretend. Most of all, left with scars that will never
have an end. You were delicate, charming, so easy
with me- against all odds, you were my opposite;
completely carefree. I gave you all of me, all of me
raw. When given the choice, the choice so simple,
you showed your true colors and traded it all.