Follow the hyperlinks to read about:
My Journey to Baby Ray [PART 1]
Milly’s Birth Story, [PART 1] and [PART 2]
(unmedicated hospital birth with surgery)
Lyndon’s Birth Story, [PART 1] and [PART 2]
(unmedicated hospital birth a surprisingly fast ending)
It’s a blessed day, readers. Thank you
SO much for stopping by:
It’s time to stop teasing and give you the low-down on
beautiful baby Liam’s birth story
The nature of his birth may be *CONTROVERSIAL* for some --
Chad (my darling husband, for those of you unfamiliar) and I
Ask only that you keep an open mind!!!
- PART 1 -
We got pregnant with beautiful LIAM
On the 9th of March, 2018 --
during that big snow storm / outage? Boy, was it windy!
And Lyndon, you remember, was a newborn himself, then
It was a few weeks later that we finally started to piece the clues together:
“I’m super hungry!”
“My milk supply is dropping!”
Readers: I hadn’t gotten my period since having Lyndon!
How brainless can one woman be?
“Could it be that I’m pregnant again???
Surely not!” I said.
Well, as you might have guessed, I’M AN IDIOT!
Don’t get the wrong idea, dear reader: pregnancy’s a dream.
It’s the greatest gift of womanhood!
It’s that labor process.
Typically, I labor a long time, sticking it out a long time at home,
Then head to the hospital, when things get really intense
(or we run out of towels - whichever comes first!)
I mean to say, reader, I wanted something
.... special ….
For lucky baby #4
Now, we’ve been holding this blog post for a while now, dangling its release on Instagram,
Wanting to get it just right
And, if you remember, Chad and I --
We asked on there:
Can you guess what was different about sweet Liam’s birth?
In the caption of the photo where he’s wearing that certain onesie…
Well, well, WELL, can you say “impressed”? Chad and I were so impressed with the
Of you who took note of the mushroom pattern on Liam’s onesie and correctly guessed:
Yes, in the end,
we decided to bring little Liam into this world while his mother “tripped” on “acid”
Drank the “kool-aid”!
Used “blotter paper”!!! Haha!
(Even now, the joy of that day and the special circumstances of his birth is commemorated in
50 internet points to the beautiful reader who can remember his full name and put it in
Our son was born December 5th, while his mama -- me! --
Tripped her TAIL off on LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE
Better known as L. S. D.
It was the wildest day of my life, and I’m excited to share it with you!
- PART 2 -
You may be wondering,
“How? Why? Huh?”
Well, I’ll tell you: my mother and Chad’s mom (hey Cathy!) asked the same questions,
To be totally honest, they were scared witless!
But only because they didn’t UNDERSTAND
Some of the physical effects of LSD include:
INCREASED BLOOD PRESSURE
FAST HEART RATE
Sound familiar? We see it on the streets all day!
Really, though, it’s all about the physiological effects
(the inside stuff that happens)
On December 8th, 22 hours before Liam gulped
His first breath of EARTH air
I consumed the flesh of the fungi
My first trip ever!
“BUT WHY?” you may still be wondering
Well, reader, that’s a longer story -- I don’t think even I totally understand why I did it, haha!
One day, after learning I was pregnant for the fourth time, I started thinking
About my three little darlings
And then about labor
And then what really made labor hard
I remembered a little about the common effects of LSD from an old roommate!
And it wasn’t long after that I started thinking about this idea
of giving birth under its effect!
The primary change seems to be
(as this blog will make VERY clear!)
Instead of being overly concerned about the pain occurring in your body,
LSD should make you become involved in the process of helping the baby be born
A rhythm is established, reader --
The 95% of pain which is psychological
Dwindles in importance --
And this new rhythm doesn’t require the mental,
~ intellectual ~
Understanding of *you* as the mother
(Liam came to us months ago, yet I still hold that labor is hindered by too much thinking, for ALL mothers)
Lovely readers: that’s the technical reason we did it
(and, I saved the deliberation process to my “family” story on Instagram,
if you want a peek into the mayhem!
Skip to 1:01:90 for the decision)
- PART 3 -
But, also, I thought it would be,
Taking LSD sounds beautiful, and I thought,
“Childbirth can be beautiful, too,”
And I wanted to ...
Try to see ...
What would happen if I did it. You know?
I thought it would be beautiful -- and luckily, it was:
I was just doing this thing and I was giving birth and nothing else made any difference and that’s what I was doing, and I did a good job evidently, because it went and it was groovy.
First thing I remember about going into labor, it was nine o’clock in the morning
I was having trouble sleeping
So I smoked a lot of grass
Turns out I had been in labor all night long!
Evidently, I was very relaxed, so I just couldn’t tell.
It was Chad who finally realized what was up when I told him
I was feeling “off”
I always want coffee in the morning, but that morning, it didn’t look good to me.
“Chad, my stomach is feeling weird.”
So he took a look.
Later, he told me that he could SEE the contractions
that I couldn’t FEEL as they came and went
At any rate, the contractions were really close together
(And that’s when I ate my LSD mushrooms)
Chad took the fastest shower ever,
But I didn’t even attempt one. Boy, did that LSD hit fast!
Instead, I just laid in fetal position on the bed.
As Chad was packing my overnight bag,
He told me to put on some shoes and that
He’d come help me get down the stairs
I made it to the bathroom, where I laid down on the floor --
(The whole thing was totally unsterile, I guess)
but all I could think about what that I was lost in the floor-length infinity mirror,
With those make-up lights and that paisley wallpaper staring at me
Trippy as fuck, I might add.
The hallucinations started really ramping up then:
I knew what was real and fake, I guess,
But in my mind, all of a sudden, I was cuddling with Taylor Swift and Emma Watson
Then every molecule of DNA in my body
Became sentient across all of human evolution, and future evolution,
And into distant galaxies,
While I crawled from neuron to neuron in my brain
Trying to pinpoint the exact moment I lost conscious thought
Reader, when an LSD junkie tells you all colors get stronger,
They MEAN all colors get stronger
The toilet bowl …
So white, like we had just cleaned it
And, my perception of time was really off
I thought I had spent an hour looking at the toilet bowl
(Chad later told me it couldn’t have been more than five minutes)
Afterwards, he was like, Man, I really was worried about you for a while!
Honestly, time was a blur.
I can’t express enough that time was completely nonexistent
I was in a loop forever
To make the whole scenario stranger, I then encounter a man
(it was Chad, I know now)
And I am crying hysterically because I believe in my LSD stupor that I am being carried away into another universe
The trip took a peculiar turn as “the man”
Held me down to stop me moving and rang an ambulance
Now, for those of my readers who don’t know, at some point in every trip,
Faces are not okay to look at.
They are freaky and weird and just not okay.
So I’m looking at this man’s face and,
All his skin disappears and I’m looking at a red skull,
and it clearly sees me freaking out
And then both it and I are freaking out
The trip then became about accepting my mortality as a human being in the presence of this skull demon
And not being scared anymore
I just stood up with all my courage and said to “the man”:
“I’m NOT SCARED OF DYING,”
And “the man” takes me by the hand and we walk down the stairs and out of the house
“IF I HAVE DIED AND THIS IS DEATH,”
“THEN I WILL CONTROL IT BY LAYING UNDER THAT TREE OVER THERE”
As you can guess, reader, I didn’t gain the power to control death,
Because Chad wouldn’t let me go under the tree.
Then something changes -- we’re in an ambulance now
And everyone’s voice is scrambled and I can’t understand a
Word they’re saying to me
I had to sign a bunch of papers, which was pretty much a blackout
(I think I just scribbled some lines on each one)
And it got even blurrier after that
And I remember “the man” and the other people in the ambulance--which, by the way, was huge and impressive!--pinning me to a stretcher bed to keep me from bolting out the van and into the wilderness
“The man” keeps telling me that I am NOT going anywhere,
For my own safety,
And I tell him again
“I AM NOT SCARED ANYMORE,
I HAVE TO DIE UNDER THAT TREE -
UNDER THAT TREE -
UNDER THAT TREE…”
(the trees were moving by so fast I repeated “that tree” a bunch more times)
“I have to die under THAT tree and have the earth take me,
death is not so bad.”
Even now, I don’t know how the people in the ambulance held me down:
I could feel that my precision, positioning, dodging ability and awareness were so immensely enhanced.
The only thing I couldn’t do right was pooping, which I suddenly felt like doing.
(I do not recommend pooping on hallucinogens of any kind, readers.)
(Just so much wrong and no way to rationalize it.)
I guess everyone was happy it was impossible for me, but it really riled me up to be stunted like that, because as soon as the ambulance stopped, I realized I needed to get to another dimension
To get there, I thought,
“I must run full speed at the sliding emergency bay entrance doors
And throw myself onto the ground.”
But the paramedics kept hold of my arms and legs
After three of four failed attempts I decide the reason was that
I’m not going fast enough.
(Really, I just wasn’t moving.)
Then I spit in their faces so they’ll loose their hold on me,
Which they do,
And I charge into the entrance bay.
I am soon surrounded by several cops, but I decide to Jackie Chan their asses.
Sadly I have no skills.
During the mêlée, though,
I get hold of one of those shoulder walkie-talkies and request help:
“Help me, Obi Wan! Help me!”
I’m cuffed soon after,
I believe I can bust out of them if I can switch wrists with the fetus inside me--
(the first time I thought about beautiful Liam since leaving the house!)
This doesn’t work on any level.
Chad tells me I then began to
Inform the police officers repeatedly,
“I will suck your dick if you let me go”
He doesn’t like that part of the night because
I didn’t offer him the same deal when I thought he was the skull demon
(Excited for THAT conversation tonight)
Next thing I know, I’ve woken up in the hallway,
Strapped to a new rolly bed,
I can’t see over my stomach so
I get lost looking at posters on the hospital walls
And I can’t get this phrase out of my head, so I ask the nurse wheeling me a bunch of times:
“Does psilocybin cross the placenta?”
“Does psilocybin cross the placenta?”
“Does psilocybin cross the placenta?”
The nurse says something like, yes, it will enter through the bloodstream to the baby
Then she says
(under her breath, but by this point I’ve gained supersonic hearing)
that it’s selfish to induce this LSD effect on another being without their consent.
I disagree but I don’t have my fists free to punch that opinion out of her so I stay pretty still
Soon, they get me to a big room with these bright headlights on the ceiling
The doctor tells me the baby is under stress
(Now, on the side of hospital beds,
they give you a button to push if you start feeling pain,
So I shoot the fetus a couple squirts
And proceed to tell the doctor that Liam has been helped)
But the doc said no, we needed to get Liam out as quickly as possible
He said that they were going to use forceps to pull him out
Which were freezing cold and gave me this feeling that I wanted to be naked --
Didn’t want anything to touch me,
So I squinched my hips to muscle out the clamps,
And the doc kept saying,
“Good, good, good pushing!”
I just wanted to be free but then I was still freezing and I was pushing all my core heat to the area
Where the clamps were and so now I’m even colder.
Must have screamed out I’M FREEZING because soon they were putting
Blankets on me,
Or pillows under me, don’t remember.
I’m pretty sure I told the nurse I loved her
But then I felt so smothered I couldn’t move
And I thought aloud to myself,
This is going to go on till midnight!
But Chad came in with ice chips and said,
“Are you kidding, you’re going to have him in no time!”
(You know, speaking of Chad,
They told me I would want him to rub my back and things like that, but I didn’t.)
Mostly, I just wanted to see what was going on, so I sat up a little for a better look
The head started to come out and I sat up even straighter:
“I want to see this; I want you to see this!” I shouted to everyone in the room.
I told the nurse to go find more people so we could all look.
- PART 4 -
I don’t know what happened next exactly,
But from then on it was beautiful
And the birth itself was beautiful
It was the greatest
I can’t remember any pain at all
It was just insane, it was so beautiful
We have some photos of us right after the birth
He was right there on the bed with me and I was just looking at him
The whole room was still so bright
But I went from seeing very beautiful lime green clouds in the ceiling
And strong colors everywhere,
To my son,
And a radio somewhere was on and I could hear it,
But I could also kind of see it
Like it was playing on my son’s face
With the photos, though,
You can see how I’m smiling and
You can see that I’m alive
That’s the way mothers feel after birth in the animal kingdom, I hear
The doctor said that he thought the LSD made me more like an animal, more like a
And, really, it sure did
Last, I remember the drive home
With Liam there
I could see the stars more clearly than ever