Marking Time

Just marking time, my life filled with mirth,
a laugh always at the ready.
My jokes fall short to remedy my nature,
a solemn child is often deemed petty.

I've striven since youth to be the center of all.
Though time alone is my most cherished comfort.
I try not to burden all with my gloom,
but in darkness my soul seems a magnet.

I find consolation in just being quiet,
pondering thoughts deep in my mind.
Make believe characters fulfill all my dreams,
in a production that can only be mine.

Much effort is spent in my solitary ramblings,
my endeavor to find the right words.
My own quirky way to try and fit in,
knowing good and well my voice is unheard.

Something inside me just won't let it be,
not pleasure, but a feeling of need.
My search for an answer, to a question unspoken,
I tempt fate but pay it no heed.

So, through my last days this mortal creature endures,
hopelessly wishing to be free of lament.
Rubbing the creases of my furrowed brow,
while sculpting verses of my discontent.

I pray, I stumble upon a line of reason,
a thought so profound we might share.
Glimpse inside this troubled heart of mine,
all jests aside, I do truly care.