Meaning of ALONE
Meaning of ALONE
What does ALONE really mean?
Alone means laying next to someone knowing they really don’t want to be with you. It’s knowing that they don’t care when they see you in pain. It’s suffering everyday knowing that they don’t love you, even when you pour your heart to them. It’s giving up everything in your life just to be with them and them not willing to even give up 3 little things. Its loosing your breath with just the mere thought of looing them and yet they walk away so easily. It’s yearning to make love with them so tenderly and passionately and all they want is sex and not caring who it’s with. It’s wanting to share your happiness, Hopes, and dreams with them and wanting to be a family and them just shrugging off the conversations.
Alone means dealing with the humility, deceit, and pain knowing they were unfaithful and them thinking you are too stupid to know. It’s knowing they are still talking to others as you and your children don’t exist and still loving them through the heartache. It’s knowing they are lying, being dis loyal, and hiding all the indiscretions, and even through the dishonesty, pain, and heart brake you still love them. Alone is taking the blame that everything wrong in the relationship is your fault, all the lies to his friends and family so that he looks like a victim and was 100% right, all the time he said you were lying, stealing, and all the backstabbing you still love them. It’s knowing you will never get this kind of love and commitment from them in return
Alone is feeling the baby inside you kick and the person you created this life with doesn’t share this joy, happiness, and love. It’s you truly being happy, and excited about the baby and them knowing its truly a miracle that this little life was created because of you being sick, and them just ripping this little bit of happiness from you and not caring. It’s wanting to share the happy news with the world that you are expecting and them unwilling and uncaring and hating the baby so much that their other kids will never know. Alone is feeling the agonizing pain knowing the right thing to do will kill and crush you, and he shows no sympathy or support during this time. It’s dreading waking up everyday knowing in 120 days you will be delivering the most beautiful baby and signing your rights away even though this baby was the thing you wanted most and wanted it to be with him, and him not showing and remorse for him being the reason your loosing another child and you still love him even though it hurts.
Alone is lying in a hospital bed in pain and sick and the one person you want by your side and has the ability to make you feel a little better has chosen not to be there. It’s knowing that he has told you lie so he could go off and be with others all night. It’s feeling the betrayal, disappointment, hurt and isolation and still longing for him to love you the way you still love him.
So, what does love really mean?
It means suffering daily heart break, disloyalty, pain, deceit, humility, and regret and no one caring. It’s knowing that you are going through all this, and you will never be good enough for him.
“ALONE is the coldest, darkest, and most dreadful feeling.”