Meet My Father
PLEASE STOP!!! Hey, can any one of you tell me, the feeling of safety and love given by only a honest and pure, real father?!?!
You know, that loyal from the start, pure at heart role model of a father, that defends and protects his little princess, as he sets a kingly example of a man for his only son and only daughter?
Who's this man that which I'm half of, who's just become a simple stranger to my self reliant life at age nine almost ten?!?!
Three years go by, I start growing one thigh, no wait two, beginning to develop not understanding that eventually, my beauty would bring my stranger of a father to his biggest most evilest of a sin.
Over, and over, again, and again; he makes me believe in the mere hope, that there's even small truth in his well acted out apologies.
Shoot he'd even cry and beg, "Please, oh my God please, I swear, I didn't mean to do that!!! Please forgive me, please baby, PLEASE!!!"
As always, just like Our lifelong Heavenly Father, I would continue to forgive him over, and over, again and again.
Then one day, he finds that he must reassure me in his demonic tone of voice, he's my maker, my creator whom has every rite to violate me until God's unlikely end!!!
All of the sudden, immediately almost instantly, I became extremely, cautious, untrusting, frozen, and somewhat terrified. "Daddys Lil Girl" is now seeking help, for not knowing what I should do, or where I should go.
It's so hard I'm terribly confused, I love my dad who helped in creating me into me, but this type of love that he's showing to me, and teaching me, revealed to me that a mans promises are simply empty, cannot trust no man, no mo'!!!
Forced into a new life, now thirteen, HOORAY, A WARD OF THE STATE; disowned by my entire family, they were believing him labeling me a lie.
Missing my family, and longing for the company of my lil baby brother; I forgave him once again. Just so he could bring me fourteen more years of heartache, making me wish I could die.
One day surprisingly, for some odd reason he gains enough courage to admit he's really been extremely horrible to me, and needs to know how what he's put me through has ruined me in any way or has ruined my life?
I could only lock eyes with my now aging father, laugh and then explain, "Well, thanks to you I didn't make a single promised scholarship to Yale, Stanford, or Harvard, and you've made me stir clear of being any story telling mans wife.