Sitting wide awake in the middle of the night praying to a god I didn’t believe in. I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t cry too loud. My tears fell silently as the memories strobed uncontrollably. I don’t know what I did to trigger them this time. Memories that never faded. Memories that transport you back to a place you never wanted to be. So long ago yet so vivid as if it was still going on. I can’t stop them. It’s like falling, uncontrollable but not permanent. Soon I’ll fall asleep and try to forget another night I lost because of moments I’ll never escape. Soon I’ll just fall asleep. The crying will stop. And maybe. Just maybe. My mind will subside and forget.