Mergansers and Photographer


This is a story of some Merganser ducks and a photographer. There are thousands of pictures posted on line about ducks in their natural pristine environment. But, there is nothing about how the ducks feel about photographers interfering with their environment. Therefore, I have decided to write this poem from the ducks point of view.


Mergansers and Photographer

“Fu’ack, fu’ack, fu’ack
Look around; she’s back”
Quacked a Merganser duck
“It’s just our fu’ackin’ luck
That camera on a clitoris
Is still trying to explore us”

“Let’s all stay over here
Don’t let her get too near”
Said an Elder Mergan’zeer
“Keep swimming in this area
Watch her go into hysteria
Because she can’t get close
We’ll move into the shadows
And screw up every pose”

“As she’s looking through her glasses
We can show off our feathered asses
Perhaps she will finally get the message
Or, let’s give her a show, a duck dressage
We can call our ever ready seagull friends
To take sky dumps on her camera lens”

“First we distract her with duck prancing
The Merganser duck waltz is entrancing
It’ll keep her snapping while we’re dancing
Ten of us in a line, left webbed foot back
Together, one two three, with a quick quack
Now, all of us left, one two three glide right
Tail feathers up; they’ll glisten in daylight

Then webbed wobble left, twibble an’ twirl
Together as one, our wings we’ll unfurl
Now right one two, wings back on three
To waltz the Merganser just listen to me”
Malodorously sang the Elder Mergan’zeer
“Oh joy! Our seagull friends are now here”

Sloop down from above—full feathered war
Sloop and poop, sloop and poop some more
Spatter the lens on the tripod over there
Then get the lens she holds near her hair
Teach her a lesson that will be clear to all pears
Just don’t fu’ack with feathered Mergan’zeers

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    This Poems Story

    I believe most Merganser ducks would appreciate this poem. I am certain all seagulls would enjoy it.