Missing The Old You

Every time you say "I love you" I know it's a lie.
What kind of father makes his own child cry?
You see, half the time you make me feel like I shouldn't even try,
because no matter what I do, it's never good enough.
You say that my life isn't anywhere near rough,
but I'm struggling with anxiety, depression,
I just put on a good impression.
I don't want you to think that you've taken control
but my happiness is buried in such a deep hole.
You buried it such a long time ago,
on the first night I watched my mother go.
You apologized I know, but it doesn't mean a thing,
when your anger arises the next night with a bang.
I should feel comfort in my own home,
but the time of your attacks seem to be unknown.
I just say hello, but my tone is a no,
I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound rude,
but I promise I wasn't giving you attitude.
I apologize, but then you say its fake,
I don't know how much longer I can take.
I see flashbacks of when I was a daddy's girl,
then my mind goes through a whirl,
because I love you, I really do,
but I don't love this new you.
I miss you and need you but not like this,
It's my old daddy I really miss.

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