Mistakes


It's four past midnight
Moonlight filtered through the bars of window
Illuminating my room
But not the cage which is
Lying in it,
A cage of my own thoughts,
Trapped in this cage full of darkness
I am thinking of all the mistakes that I had made
Mistakes that turned my life to a mistake itself,
Mistakes that turned a sleepy head to an insomniac.

As if, it's not me who's controlling my emotions
But my emotions are controlling my actions.
I want to sleep but they are not letting me do so
Maybe my eyes are too full of tears to accommodate sleep in them.
I want to break myself free from,
This cage,
This extreme pain and agony
And from the shackles of regret.
But how can I do so,
When the regret of all those mistakes that I had made is inevitable
A regret full of pain
And "the pain demands to be felt"
(John Green,TFIOS)

Even though I don't want them to but
Every word of mine either disappoint or annoy Someone
So I silenced myself,
Not by switching off my speaking device
But by turning it's volume down to zero
So neither those words died
Nor they annoyed anyone.
Now they echo within myself only
Filling up all the voids that
The disappointed ones left.

Maybe one day I'll find a place,
Where I don't have to silence my words,
A place where I'll be free from all these regrets
A place other than my very own grave.

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