Monogatari part drei

By Daiah   

I look out the window when there is no need to stare at the black board, my means of escape in a place that makes me feel disposable.
The clock ticks and the teacher says time up. I hold out a piece of paper that I'd rather leave blank.
"How was it?" The guy in front of me asks, "I do not know." Is what I mumble back.
Before the conversation could continue, I stand up and walk away, even when he calls out my name.
As I rush through the hallway, I feel the stares of people somehow. These are the moments I wish I was swallowed whole by the ground.
Ever since news spread of me repeating this grade for the third time, everyone looks at me the same.
" Will she make it at last?" One girl whispers, "You don't need to wonder, she has a consistent past", another snickers.
Not wanting to hear anymore I rush out the door and run for the gate, I avoid going home, my family no longer hide their hate.
I head to the park down the road and go behind the oak tree near the lake. I sit down and draw my knees up to my chest, holding myself so tight I feel like I might break.
I could shout, but then what? I want to cry but my eyes have had enough. I wish I was smart, I wish I was the perfect child and I simply wish I wasn't me.
When will all this come to an end? The pain, the ridicule and the shame. What will it take for this to go away?
I didn't notice but all this while, a person stood beside me, afraid of who it could be, I raised my head slowly.
And I see the guy who tried to talk to me.
Before I could speak, he says, " Maya, help will only come when you stop running away."

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    Another part of the journey.