I still feel the pain inside her-
That heart-turning, chest-aching pain.
I can still see her trembling when I close my eyes,
Tears streaming her flushed cheeks.
I can still hear her screams,
Screeching louder, louder, echoing throughout the darkness.
I remember it all:
The way her happiness was ripped from her,
The way the sorrow consumed her weakened mind.
It gives me nightmares.
It has for quite some time, now.
For a while, I tuned them out,
Pushing them to the back of my mind and holding them there,
Locking them away with no key to release them.
But they've freed themselves.
And, oh God, it hurts:
The guilt,
The misery, the regret.
The repulsive way my memories have seemed to set themselves on repeat,
Reminding me over, and over, and over again.
I did this.
I did this.
I let the ways of spite overcome the ways of love and destroyed her.
And for a while I convinced myself it was okay.
I hid away the memories and ignored the nightmares.
But now they've escaped,
And they've come to remind me,
I am a monster.

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