My Battle with Myself

Depression is a killer some people call a joke,
A awful part is what you do to cope.
Some people cut and others burn,
Sometimes they do drugs when there's nowhere left to turn.
You stop caring about your family and friends,
But that's not the part where this story ends.
Grades start to drop and your motivation is gone,
But you still act as if nothing is wrong.
Your sleeves get longer and your dreams start to fade away,
You start to come up with reasons why you shouldn't stay.
The list starts at "who would miss me?" and it continues to grow,
But you'll never let your emotions show.
You'll start to make a plan and you'll start to prepare,
After all, it feels like you're not even there.
Then that day comes and you feel no fear,
The one thought is "I can't wait to leave here."
Sometimes you're lucky and you change your mind,
Some aren't so lucky, they run out of time.
You'll vomit those pills, you'll throw down the gun,
You won't feel like you need to run.
You'll finally cry for help.
You'll start to see the strength you hold within yourself.
You'll never feel the same as you did before depression hit,
But you'll feel so much better, I promise you it.
This is a favor I'm asking you, who wish you could make it end,
Please, please get some help, talk to a friend.
Someone out there loves you,
And there's people that will help you through.
I love you and I want you to know,
You always have someone who cares, I promise you so.

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I've struggled with depression since I was a young child. I remember always thinking that I was flawed because other children my age were much happier than I. That mindset stayed with me until November 1, 2014, when I attempted suicide by overdosing. After that day I finally got the help I needed and was able to celebrate turning eighteen, which I never thought I would. This poem describes the fight I went through (and a few others) and how I found hope and the strength to continue to live. It's a reminder that you're never alone. Thank you, Mom. I love you.