My Box

I have a box
Everyone has a box
Some boxes are big and some are small
And people put different things into their own boxes
This box holds my life inside
Everything is in this box
When something is put in this box
I have to close it really quick to not let anything escape the box
I lock it up and set it aside because I have other
More important things than this box
To pay attention to

My box is starting to overflow
Filled with so many things
Past relationships
Love letters
Birthday cards from my childhood

And as you dig deeper and deeper into my box
You find heavier things in the box
You find the sounds and the smells and the images
You find the tastes and touches
The deepest part of the box holds more than objects you hold into your hands

You see the door
That was slammed
And the cordless phone
To dial 911 and
And the kitchen table
My place to hide
You’re eyes widen at the sight of his hands' grasp
Around her throat

The touch the bannister
The one you hold as you go down the stairs
The one she was thrown into

You hear the yelling during the night and
You touch the picture frame in the garbage can
You smell the
You taste the birthday cake
As he storms into the room
You hear him yell
You’re ruining my life

You feel the burning
From the seat belt around your neck
You’re in the ditch now

You see a doctor
Sitting in front of you
You hear your mom cry
You feel the doctor shake your hand
You go numb
And suddenly you can’t feel anything

My box is frightening and most people don’t try to look inside
Because when they do they find the
Secrets and traumas
And they close my box and put it back on the shelf
And no one dares to look inside again

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