My first real heartbreak

Going threw my first heartbreak was messy
My first heartbreak was when i lost you
And i didn't lose you to a fight
Or some other person
I lost you to depression
And a gun
And that is what makes my first heartbreak messy
I loved you
I still love you
You were someone who supported me
Its an unreal feeling when you hear the words
‘He shot himself’
It makes you angry and rips at your soul so viciously
that you can no longer feel the pain that it is creating
My first heartbreak will always be engraved in my pain
I will never forget the second i received the news
This hole has been left in me
I can't help but be angry at the fact that you left this pain in my chest
that is still numbing my body almost a year later

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This Poems Story

I wrote this poem close to a yea after losing a close friend.