My Guardian Angel

My life seems like an unbearable test,
even the memory of you is a constant pain deep inside my chest,
I struggle not to cry, thoughts I strive to ignore,
but this pain thickens more and more every second I endure.
I feared for so long someday losing you,
not knowing what would happen, what would I even do?
That moment came far too soon, the summer night in the middle of June
You left this world with little and some beautiful pictures of you,
but now I'm left with nothing praying, hoping you can hear me too.
I beg The Lord every night to let you visit me,
so in my dreams I look for you wherever you may be.
This pain doesn't get easier, the memories don't fade,
this is my life now not a game in an arcade.
There is no restart button, nine lives is a lie,
I can't just put a dollar in you won't come back to life.
I wish I could explain it better, I can't get these words to form
the days and nights just feel like a never ending thunderstorm.
The numbness has left, the shock has departed
and I feel nothing except like I've been deserted.
From family to nothing in a matter of seconds,
you were the glue to our pieces and my nuclear weapon.
You never wanted me to suffer, always had my back,
if I ever needed you, you were ready to attack.
I was blinded before but now it's clear to me,
I was your whole world, no one could disagree.
Twin souls ripped apart so fast and early,
my guardian angel shouldn't be, but happens to be my best friend,
my precious Mommy.

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