My Heart


7/17/14

My heart has a lot of scars and bruises, some still not healed
So it began to build a fortress around it so it would not get slashed and stung anymore
The wall is tall and big and strong
My heart didn’t get hurt anymore
But it started to get lonely, it started to ache from loneliness.
But no, it rather be safe and secure than endure wounds again.
The wall crumbled a bit, bc the brain insisted it feed the ache for love
But it crumbled only a bit, still keeping the new “loves” at a safe distance.
The heart was comfortable, but still ached for more love, the love that would heal all wounds.
Then a boy came along. And as usual the heart began to fret with fear and anguish that the boy would slash and scrape the heart like many other boys in the past had done.
But the brain tried telling the heart that this boy is different, he will not wound and hurt you.
But the heart was so used to having its wall, its safe comfortable wall, that the thought of breaking it down shook it to its core! How can I live without my wall?
So many boys, especially in the hearts own family had hurt the heart, the heart needed the wall.
With all the scars and bruises, the heart did not think it was strong enough to love the “right” person or to even love right, bc it never had before.
But the brain tried to reason with the heart saying that you can, you can love and know when it’s right. You have good judgment.
The heart is used to the wall, the cushion of space she has made to protect her, but it also has left her numb and alone.
The heart is scared but willing to try and take down one brick at a time.

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