There you are sleeping with your mouth open and making noises like an old bus failing to go into the next gear;
I should have known that the last time I was going to sleep peacefully was the night before the traditional wedding;
I should have been able to see just how ugly you are with those big lizard eyes;
That horrendous pair of ears that look like they can hear the gossip of old women miles away;
How did I miss that forehead that looks like a result of caricature art?
And those pimples all over your dark face that do not go away like a permanent plague;
The beard encroaching your face like stubborn wild weeds in an abandoned garden;
Look at that huge bear belly. I wonder how it feels like to be pregnant for years on end;
What kind of spell was I under when I agreed to be courted by this man let alone marry him?
It must be true what they say about his clan being the inventors of the art of witchcraft;
Suddenly the gorilla turns over and the huge hand lands on my belly;
Good grief! It feels like a whole sack of grain has just gotten me buried under it;
I slowly lift it up. I do not want to be disturbed by the continuous demand for meals just as yet;
Ah but then my luck runs out as he wakes up and catches me looking at him;
He smiles at me and suddenly there is no gorilla in the house;
I completely forget where I was on my mental hate speech;
“I see you were busy admiring this handsome African warrior,” He says proudly yet charmingly;
“Don’t flatter yourself,” I reply before he pulls me towards him and plants a kiss on my lips.