My Last Confession

This is my last confession,
That I do hold inside.
These things do bring me down,
I feel that I have already died.

How could I hurt the one,
The one that was always there.
How could I hurt you my love?
This pain I cannot bare.

I am not who I wish to be,
I am far less than he.
I wish I could become,
The man I want to be.

I feel constant pain,
There is conflict within.
No one knows how fake it is,
The fakeness of my grin.

How can I forgive myself?
How can I just let it go?
How can I start to rise,
From my new found low?

How did this all begin?
How did it even start?
It caused me to feel condemned,
And loneliness of heart.